Chords
Instrumental / Chorus: D A G D
Verse 1: D A G A x2, D G A x2
Verse 2: D A G A x2, Bm D x2, Bm D A

Lyrics
When the owl dropped off the letter it was such a big surprise:
A whole secret world of wizards hidden from my eyes.
But my training stopped before it began.
Things didn’t go quite as planned…

It soon became apparent that wizardry was so last year:
I can’t use a quill and parchment! I can’t get drunk on butterbeer!
But on the first night there this hat tells me that it’s time to do some sorting;
I think it’s time I got out of here…

[chorus]
Gryffindors have enormous egos and Slytherin’s just a bunch of emos!
I’m taking a stand, I’m a Muggle till I die!
Hufflepuffs whine – they’re so weak; Ravenclaws are a load of geeks!
Whatever you say, I’m a Muggle till I die!

Snape looked dark and angry; Flitwick let out a sob.
McGonagall told me to be quiet as the pupils formed a mob.
But then Dumbledore said “That’s up to you – you’re free to do whatever you want to.”
But as Hagrid showed me out, I couldn’t help but shout…

[chorus]

Join the cause with celebration!
Begin the Muggle liberation!
And sing out with determination
That wizardry’s not a real vocation!
[repeat]

[chorus x2]

Footnotes
This song was written very early on in my For Great Justice! writing sessions. Since my disinterest in Harry Potter was well-known amongst my audience, it made sense to have some kind of “anti-wrock” song in the line-up. It occurred to me that every muggle-born who is invited to Hogwarts seems to immediately fall in love with the place, which seemed (to me) to be a little unrealistic. What if they accidentally invited a kid who was a complete rebel and didn’t feel like being a wizard? Once that idea arrived, the rest of the song quickly fell into place.