Chords
Intro: G C G
Verse: C D7, G C C7, F G Am, D7 G G7
Chorus: F C x2, F G Am, D7 F G
“Up in the depths…”: F C D G

Lyrics
In the future, the whole world’s news will be broadcast from a single place:
Satellite Five – a news and media hive – transmitting from outer space.
But the Doctor can see that there’s a mystery: who is waiting on the highest deck?
Who is the man changing history and signing the journalists’ cheques?

[chorus]
He doesn’t ever leave his room because he’s stuck to the ceiling
And his news is on every channel, so you can’t relax.
He’s your lord and master – controller of all – though you’ve never seen him in your life.
He’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…
But I call him Max.

The Human Empire should be branching out but instead it’s always looking in.
Max’s changes to the news broadcast have been keeping the Empire trim.
Uncover the truth – that’s what the Doctor must do – but get ready to turn up the heat!
The editor-in-chief is going down in an explosion of roasted meat…

[chorus]
He doesn’t ever leave his room because he’s stuck to the ceiling
And his news is on every channel, so you can’t relax.
He’s fair and balanced, he’s 24-hour and he’ll tell you what you need to hear!
He’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…
But I call him Max.

Up in the depths of space, hidden in a very cold place,
But the Doctor is on the case – he’ll get rid of the trojan!
Take the lift up to the top: Mighty Jagrafess, you’ll be stopped!
But I hope someone has a mop – massive meaty explosion!

[chorus]
He doesn’t ever leave his room because he’s stuck to the ceiling
And his news is on every channel, so you can’t relax
He’ll feed you news to change your views and if you question him you’ll end up dead!
He’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…

But he doesn’t have to hack your voicemail to know what you’re thinking
And he never uses Wikipedia to research his facts.
He’s got his fingers in pies, though he doesn’t have fingers – that was just a figure of speech!
He’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…
Yes, he’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…
I said, he’s The Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe…
But I call him Max

Footnotes
This song had a very odd journey before being released. I wrote it simply because I like saying Max’s full name but I was never especially happy with the song. I had already decided it probably wasn’t going to be on For Great Justice! but I played it at Acoustic Trock Night anyway, just to beef up my setlist a bit. Turns out, everyone I talked to thought it was the best song I played. Oops. So with some extra lyrical tweaking, I got it to a state I was happy with and just about got it all recorded in time for release.