Chords
Intro / Verse / Instrumentals: G C, G C, G C, D C
Pre-chorus: Em D, Am Am/B C D
Chorus: G D, Am Am/B C D
Bridge (“And I know that…”): Em D, Em D, Am Am/B C D

Lyrics
Sitting in the classroom, reading history’s such a bore:
I’d rather see it for myself than hear my classmates snore.
This pencil’s not a pencil: it’s a screwdriver, you see!
And naturally it’s sonic because laser ain’t for me!

Moving shadows stalk me as I walk along the hall;
I think the head’s a Krillitane – he wants to eat us all.
Those wheelie bins down by the gate may be an Auton trap.
The dinnerlady’s a Slitheen: she’s abnormally fat!

And I say, you’ve got to believe me!
It sounds far-fetched but soon you’ll see…

[chorus]
That I’m the Doctor – don’t tell me to behave!
I’m going on adventures, I won’t be no cyberslave!
No time for lessons or there’ll be no victory!
Gotta save the Earth from danger and be home in time for tea!

Lying in my bed, a ticking noise keeps me awake:
It’s probably a Clockwork Droid with some repairs to make.
The night-light by my bed keeps Vashta Nerada at bay.
I’m ready for whatever monster heads for us today.

And I don’t care that you don’t believe me!
When monsters come you’ll all thank me!

[chorus]
‘Cause I’m the Doctor – don’t tell me to behave!
I’m going on adventures, I won’t be no cyberslave!
No time for lessons or there’ll be no victory!
Gotta save the Earth from danger and be home in time for tea!

And I know that you don’t believe me.
Why does nobody ever believe me?
Why won’t you just listen to what I say?!

[chorus]
‘Cause I’m the Doctor – don’t tell me to behave!
I’m going on adventures, I won’t be no cyberslave!
No time for breakfast or there’ll be no victory!
Gotta save the Earth from danger and be home in time for tea!
Just in hop inside my Tardis, I’ve got everything you need!
Take my hand and we’ll go on adventures… allons-y!

Footnotes
This song was written over two years before For Great Justice’s release, when I was considering making a trock EP for my first Hometaping project (I would later choose to do a more serious EP instead). Unlike many of my old, unreleased songs, I’m The Doctor had very few changes made to it during the two-year period when it was gathering dust in my songwriting folder. The only real change that was made was the title – the song was originally written under the title “Daydreamer,” but this title was later moved to another song that I wrote and never released.
A few weeks before the album’s release, a friend brought to my attention the uncanny resemblance between the first lines of this song and Stereophonics’ “A Thousand Trees.” I would like to assure Stereophonics’ lawyers that the resemblance was completely accidental and most likely another example of my brain loosely remembering a melody from somewhere and believing it to be totally original. It is an annoyingly common problem.